The Barbershop Renaissance

Do you like the smell of perm chemicals and burning hair? Do you want some girl just out of cosmetology school, who gets paid more the faster she pumps out haircuts, cutting your hair? Do you like to listen to women chatter about who's a bitch and how crappy there poor unassuming boyfriend is? If you answered yes to these things you must hate yourself and being a man. Wouldn't you rather go to a place that is friendly, has a nice clean, fresh smell, a person that will take time to get your hair just how you like it and banter with you about things that actually matter in your life? A place that has atmosphere and won't make you lose all self respect for yourself when you walk out. My friends, this place is called a BARBERSHOP!
As a child my father took me to the local barbershop called Bush Wackers it was filled with Playboys, men drinking coffee conversing about the weather, politics, local going ons, women, and money. As I got into my teenage years I drifted away from the manly comfort zone of barbers and into a sea of confusing unisex salons chalked full of stylist who pushed unwanted advice about what haircut THEY thought would look best on me and sell me some costly product I didn't know how to use. A moment of enlightenment struck me one unsuspecting day when I stumbled upon a LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED barbershop that brought back the fond memories of the childhood shop but also maintained a cutting modern edge. The shop was filled with tattoo magazines, men's magazines, a fridge full of beer, cool band poster on the walls and a young, knowledgeable barber gracefully handling the cutting. I fell in love; so much so that I went to barber school and am entering the second year of owning my own barbershop.
Barbering is an ancient art, it goes back as far as 2000 B.C.E. even being mentioned in the Bible; it survived the dark ages and has been passed down through the generations. During the golden age of barbering, mid-1800's to the early 1960's, the barbershop wasn't just a place to get a mighty fine haircut and hot towel straight razor shave but a place to kick up your feet read the paper (or dirty magazine) and find out what was going on in town. Hair tonic and shaving soap advertisements lined the walls extensively expressing “Visit your barber every 7-10 days”. Barber chairs where quality furniture crafted from porcelain, wood, and steel. Shops smelled of spicy bay rum after shave, hot shaving cream and savory hair tonics; smoking wasn't just allowed it was encouraged even going as far as selling cigars and cigarettes in the shop! It gave off an atmosphere more like a saloon filled with story telling and knee slapping. Attracting young and old alike, it was a place a man could really relax and enjoy the company of other men.
Many people believe the fall of the barbershop came with Beatle mania - this was more of the final nails in the manly sanctuary's coffin. The barbershop down fall actually started around the turn of the 20th century when Gillette very successfully marketed the safety razor has a more economical easier way to shave rather than visiting the barber for a straight blade shave. In those days a barbers main income was the hot towel straight razor shaves. Of course they took a further blow during the Great Depression when personal spending hit an all-time low. After the dramatic decline in male population due to major wars such as World Wars I, II and The Korean War - not to mention most of western civilization being caught up in the paralyzing grip of unhygienic long haired hippieisim - the barbershop became an out dated scene. Most barbers didn't want to learn new styles or change styles during this time because it wasn't just a change in fashion but a change in society. Western religions became too confining, divorce started to become common, casual sex and drugs became the norm, life was about self actualization and freedom of self expression; the world no longer belonged to “The Greatest Generation”. When short hair came back into style in the 80's, the predominately female reared generation X'ers where ushered into over priced pricy salons or even worse, soul sucking corporate greed driven unisex chain salons - furthering the impression of barbers being old, crusty relics from a past era.*
In the past decade and a half barbershops have seen a small revival, most of which being from none English speaking and are associated with ridiculously cheap haircuts. However a small number of young men driven by an interest in their grandfathers lifestyles are attempting to restore the barbershop to it's glory days while maintaining a modern distinction. We are railing against the greedy corporate giants and overly feminized salons. We are keeping up with new style trends as well as classic retro styles - doing our utmost to provide good, inexpensive haircuts without sacrificing the tradition of the barbershop. Since barbers, for the most part, do only mens haircuts we are more inclined to know the little tricks to get mens hair in tip top shape. A barber should be able to do a clipper or shear haircut but the mark of a real barber is the ability to do a proper hot towel straight razor shave. If you have never had a barber shave, DO IT NOW! Every man should have another man hold a razor to his throat at least once, it is surprisingly more relaxing than it sounds and is great for hangovers! The barbershop isn't just a the place to get a manly haircut but a priceless place to flap your gums with other guys. On more than one occasion I've seen cars sold, houses rented, and jobs found. It really is an informal community meeting place. It is and always has been a great place for men to be men and all that entails.

The barbershop is not for everyone; if you have long hair (over your shoulders), if you are easily offended, or are so homophobic you can't have another guy cut your hair, you shouldn't go to a barbershop. I don't want to sound like an testosterone filled chauvinist but if you are interested in rediscovering the barbershop do some research on yelp, google, or ask one of your macho friends to find a local shop - you won't be disappointed.

*Interestingly enough barbershops in the African-American, Hispanic-American, Asian-American, and rest of the none English speaking world never really experienced such a ruination. Seems to only have happened in the overriding white English based community.

Ten Barbershop Tips (in no certain order)

Be specific! Just a trim, a little shorter, or clean it up are subjective terms that mean something different to you and your barber. A half inch off or left will help us give you the hair cut you really want. A quick clipper approximation #2=1/4 inch #4=1/2 inch #6=3/4 this should help you describe your haircut

Don't ask to be turned toward the mirror. We use the mirror to see if there are any dark sport left by our clippers; it's a tool
Come in with clean hair. Nothing pisses off a barber faster than stinky foot smelling matted hair

Join in. We are all here to associate with each other feel free to ad your 2 cents to the conversation

Sit Still. If you are over the age of 7 and do not have palsy you have no excuse not hold still for 20 minutes

Do not ask about, talk about or even bring up Sweeny Todd, we are trained professionals not actors in a musical and really it wasn't very funny the first time we heard it let alone the 100,000th

Just ask. We should be able to do any kind of haircut you want all you have to do is ask.

Don't tell us how good your last barber was. If they where that good why aren't you there now?

Are you sure you want it thinned out? Unless you are going for a spiky style having your hair thinned just makes it stand up straight and it's still thick at the roots so it won't be any cooler.

Trust your barber

Anthony

Ps. I know I can not spell or punctuate correctly

Young Dubliners Show Review for Submerge Mag

Whats the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the term Celtic rock? Hopefully not U2, maybe Flogging Molly but more accurately you should think of Young Dubliners. After all they are one of the most influential Celtic rock bands from the United States. After five years of skipping over the Sacramento area on tour the southern California based Irishmen brought there flavor of traditional Irish folk and modern rock to Harlows Night Club Thursday Night. I had the privilege of witnessing it first hand. After arriving a few minutes late and getting over the shock of a large portion of the crowd looking about the right age to have gone to high school with Betty White, we found the merrymaking in full swing. To fully appreciate the pub like Irish folk instrumental jam the Young Dubliners had broke into, I ordered a shot of Jameson with a Guinness back from the more than obliging bartender. Watching local Irish rockers The Black Eyed Dempsey jump and bounce on the dance floor to the guitar driven punk rock inspired song “The Foggy Dew” really gave the room a Pogues vibe. Lead singer Keith Roberts made the casual announcement that since they haven't been to Sacramento in so long they would be playing songs from all eight of there albums. Young Dubliners showed a softer side with a few heart felt acoustic ballads like “In The End”. A great deal of the lyrics off there new album Saints and Sinners speak out against how bad things have gotten internationally without losing the profound belief that things can and will get better. Traditional folk instrumental pieces such as “Ashley Falls” really allowed the well seasoned musicians space to showcase there individual talents; specifiably allowing fiddle player extraordinaire Chaz Waltz some room to show off his chops. Not since Gilles Apap has such fine fiddle work been laid down; Waltz solos are a perfect blend of classical training and folk improvisation not to mention he plays in a intense Johnny Ramone style power stance! Touring with the five piece rock n roll group was famed Uillean piper (electric bagpipe) and pennywhistle master Eric Rigler. On some of the darker power ballads he was able to make the already ominous bag pipes sound a little spookier with a slight delay on it. You might know Rigler for his work on such small movie soundtracks as Brave Heart and Titanic. The accomplished piper treated the audience to the theme song of Brave Heart which I assume is the equivalent, for people of Celtic decent, as an American watching Jimmy Hendrix shred “The Star Spangled Banner” at Wood Stock. Traditional Irish folk songs “Molly Malone” and “Seven Drunken Nights” really brought a bounty of dancers and hip shakers to the floor and ending the show with the Dropkick Murphy's-ish power song “The Rocky Road To Dublin” set the small but enthusiastic crowd on fire. After the great set and a few more Guinness I had a chance to chat with Keith Roberts. Through a barely understandable Irish accent he first apologized for coming to Northern California and having allergies. After I apologized for arriving fifteen minutes late, he assured me with a sly smile that those precious early minutes of the set where indeed the best part. Roberts did inform me that Young Dubliners planned on making Sacramento a regular stop on there touring schedule, “We are in the same freaking state for gods sake” he excitedly barked. Hopefully these words will hold true because an evening spent with the Young Dubliners is an evening well spent. Make sure to catch there next Sacramento performance and you to will fully understand what Celtic rock means.

Anthony

Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Silent Comedy Show Review for Submerge Mag

Photos by Adam Plantz

Do you ever feel like you missed out on an era? The era portrayed in such films as Casablanca or Gone With The Wind. Do you ever feel like you should have lived in a time when people dressed up to go out on the town and drank highballs? Well Wednesday night Shady Lady Saloon, with the help of musical guest The Silent Comedy, brought that generation back to life. Granted I saw far fewer men in full suits, women in flapper dresses and far more tattoos in the room then I would imagine the 1940's but the spirit was alive. The classic speakeasy look of Shady Lady paired perfectly with the O Brother, Where Art Thou threads of The Silent Comedy. Their digs were complete with slacks, vests, pork pie hats, and mustaches; the mustaches were so glorious a walrus would turn away in shame. Shortly after this brilliant display of fire and mixology by one of the owners, musical entertainment of the night, The Silent Comedy took the stage. These fellas didn't waste any time with the first song “The Prince”. It had dark over tones of swamp blues, an obvious New Orleans Dixieland jazz influence, matched with raspy rock n roll vocals and a stomp beat that rattled the walls. In fact, the stomping beats these guys laid down the entire night had so much power the main vocalist Joshua Zimmerman brings his own box to stand on because he “put his foot threw so many stages”. The very next song slowed the tempo way down, lead guitarist Jeremiah Zimmerman took over the microphone and played keyboard on the track. Jeremiah's vocals gave a nice Billy Joel quality while the rest of the band brought an ominous folky gospel tent revival vibe to round out the song. The rest of the night continued this way; they would “bring you down and pick you back up”. The entire saloon jumped, stomped, and danced to the original bluesy devil inspired rock roll songs such as “Moonshine”, “Poison”, and “49”. We all swayed and locked arms to the slow sad melodies of indie folk, slightly country ballads like “All Saints Day” and “Regrets”. Tim Graves, who also played guitar and shared vocals duties, brought a lot of the bluesy feeling with damn impressive harmonica playing. Implementing advanced precision harmonica technique called tongue blocking; actually using your tongue, while playing, to block out notes. The three part singing harmonies by brothers Zimmerman and Graves was magnified by the other three band members shouting lyrics in the background. Giving an exceptional two tone amphitheater texture to some of the vocals. Between songs set off a musical fire drill, they exchanged instruments and spots on stage. On any given song one of the band members might be playing; acoustic guitar, slide guitar, bass, banjo, mandolin, violin, concertina (a small accordion), keyboard, harmonica or drums. Finishing off the night was piano driven gospel inspired song “The Well”. It was nothing short of the church scene in Blues Brothers. People were dancing, singing, and generally being over come by the power of the soulful music. The Silent Comedy draws from influences from across the board, time periods and genres, culminating to something along the lines of a Killers, Muddy Waters, Old Crow Medicine Show, and Django Reinhardt sound. Not to mention an intensity in their live performance that rivals some of the top punk rock bands. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of The Silent Comedy's new album Common Faults on itunes or at there next Sacramento appearance.

Anthony

Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

The Expendables interview for Submerege Mag

To call The Expendables a reggae rock band is an understatement. They have been playing there own unique blend of music for nearly fifteen years. Growing up in Santa Cruz, California instilled many different musical influences in them; everything from reggae, punk rock, surf, and 80's metal. I guarantee you have never heard a reggae song with blast beats and an Iron Maiden style shred solo in the middle of it. According to The Expendables, “We surf, skate, party and play music”. This laid back attitude has taken them from playing frat parties to their own nationwide headlining tours to support on amphitheater tours with international acts such as 311 and G. Love & Special Sauce. The Santa Cruz locals have also had the privilege of sharing the stage with such bands as Slightly Stoopid, Pepper, NOFX, Pennywise, Fishbone, Ziggy Marley and Kottonmouth Kings. Guitar Hero World Tour even used their song “Sacrifice” off the Gettin Filthy album as a playable song. You'd think after four records and countless tours, the four piece would be ready to take it easy, but no, “idle time is not an option”. March of this year saw the announcement of their fifth album Prove It along with a nearly two month summer support tour. Paul Leary of Butthole Surfer's and El Hefe of NOFX grabbed the reins as producers on the new record, “bringing a vibe to the studio as only two punk rock guitar legends could...they dug our weirdness”. And for anyone out there that thinks The Expendables have lost there originality, they have this to say: “We are bringing something new to the table, while still staying true to the sounds that make us who we are.” I recently had the chance to chat with Adam Patterson, the back bone of any good band; the drummer.

Hey how's it going?

Pretty good, we had a night off last night, I partied pretty hard. I am extremely hung over but stoked to do this interview.

[Laughs] I understand. So The Expendables have been together since 1997

Yeah we where just 16 year old kids from Santa Cruz messing around with different types of weird music. We didn't get serious until around 2000 when we recorded our first record.

Santa Cruz is known as being one of the surf and skate capitols of the world. What was it like being a sixteen year old kid coming up in that music scene?

Oh man it was a lot of fun, there were always shows going on, plenty of good local bands to play with. It was really a great time to be a band. There was always a big band coming through; NOFX, Strung Out, Less Than Jake or 311. We actually became friends with some of those bands and have been lucky enough to tour with them. Not to mention people in Santa Cruz are super respective to all styles of music. It was really a good time.

Speaking of 311, I see you guys got to do an amphitheater tour with them last summer, how crazy was that?

It was wonderful they showed us an entirely different side of touring we had never seen before. The level of professionalism is crazy, they basically set up a musicians city everyday. The amount of preparation they do everyday just to put on a good show is amazing. It's a lot different doing our own headlining tour this summer. [Laughs] We try to carry the same professionalism but much smaller venues.

How did you guys fit recording an album into your busy tour schedule?

Actually the first part of last year (2009) and the last part of the year before (2008) were incredibly busy but we got to take the last six months of 2009 off to record the album and get ready to do some heavy support tours. We aren't used to having time off, it was kinda hard to stay focused. Since we had been writing the new record over the last 3 years we only had to take a few months off to finish it and really focus on doing the best job we could. Which is why we brought in the producers we did. And I think we accomplished that, it's my favorite album to date. I think it's our best representation of the band and what we are capable of.

I was reading the album credits and saw you had Paul Leary of Butthole Surfers and EL Hefe of NOFX produce the album

We met Paul threw Pepper, he came to a show in Austin in a few years back, and we spent the next two years talking with him. When it came time to actually get a producer he was all in, he likes our weirdness. El Hefe had contacted our label, Stoopid Records, looking to work with one of the bands and we are huge NOFX fans so we jumped on that as quick as possible. We got along well and wrote a song together, “Donkey Show”, it turned out really good. The album also features some of our friends from Slightly Stoopid as well as G. Love

The new album, Prove It sounds slightly more general rock than your previous releases

People have been telling us we lost our dub(reggae) sound. We are a guitar driven band, always have been. I feel like we did a little of everything on this record. We did a six minute metal songs, a few punk songs, a seventeen minute dub song and pretty much everything in between. We're a weird band we like to play every type of music.

Pick up you copy of Prove It at The Expendables live show May 30th at The Boardwalk or June 1st at Freeborn Hall on the UC Davis campus.

Anthony

Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Raley Field Beer Festival 5/10

I have been told the mouth of a perfectly happy man is full of beer and Friday night at the 3rd Annual Raley Field Beer Festival I had more than a mouth full. When I decided to attended this festival of intoxication I felt I would need a little back up so I recruited a friend of mine who tends bar at the painfully hip Shady Lady, an amigo that is an honorary beer expert; he drinks a lot of beer, and my wife who is savvy in how to take care of people that “know” to much about beer. As we approached Raley Field I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Needless to say anticipations ran high but at the sight of the eighty person line to get in my heart sank into my shoe. Surprisingly enough the line moved very quickly which was good because the ratio of douche bag to cool people that live in West Sacramento is weighed pretty heavily towards the douche side. Once inside only one of us (not me) possessed the insight to go threw the line twice to get more free tickets, whatever we shortly discovered you can buy more tickets for a dollar each. Equipped with cups, drink tickets, and a mighty thirst we where like drunks coming off twelve months dry fully tweaking at the sight of all the different beers to try. We all scattered like cockroaches in different directions. Just to calm my shaky excited hands I started off with the commonly found Lagunitas WTF, a brown ale. Not very thrilling tasted a little hoppier than your average brown but I had to get the party started somehow. Trying to make up to my disappointed taste buds I spied a local Folsom brewery I had never heard of, Lockdown Brewing Company Despite the cheesy slogan “home of the Folsom Prison brews” the blonde wasn't bad, dry and clean. Suddenly our entire crew reunited and I honed in on the same stand to assault, Marin Brewing Company and of course all four of us had to try one of the strangest brews of the night ES Chi, a Chinese herb infused ES. The odd stoner hippy who poured this intriguing beverage told me “It's good for you, it'll even you out”. I am not entirely sure what he was talking about but it diffidently was one of the three most memorable beers we tried, it had a vaguely spice grassy tea taste to it. Mr. Suave* commented “It taste like an herb tea and beer mixed together”. Oddly enough this beer does not appear on their website. Less than an hour into this lovely event and already the obligatory drunk fool in a reggae colored California shirt shouted something to the effect of “Let's get F***ed up bro”. This is why even the other states in our own country hate us. Anyway, next we made a stop at Marin Brewing sister company Moylans. The Scotch Ale caught my eye and if I don't say so myself it was a good choice it had a really great woody taste, almost as if it had been aged in oak barrels. As we walked threw the festival I noticed a lot of larger Northern Ca breweries North Coast, Blue Moon, Lagunitas as well as a lot of standard Sacramento stuff Rubicon, Hoppy, Sudwerks etc. I guess it is to be expected but I had hoped for a few more obscure breweries. My point exactly came in the form of the next brewery Sierra Nevada. Being that I grew up in Chico and Sierra Nevada happens to be one of my beers of choice I had to get a Harvest ale. Taste like home, it's my security blanket. By this time I started to feel effects of the inebriating libations. We decided to take our ragtag bunch over to the Ele River stand to try the Acai Wheat. Apparently Acai is a berry native to Brazil similar to the pomegranate. The Acai berry gave a remarkable unique flavor and a texture similar but a little more beer like than a hard cider. Unsurprisingly this was my wifes favorite of the night. The Acai Wheat and the next beer I sampled, Mate Veza Golden Blonde, where the other two memorable beers. The Mate Veza is brewed with the African Yerba Mate tea leafs which naturally caffeinated the beer. I honestly do not remember what it tasted like because I had been drinkin and I could help being completely enamored with the fact they figured out how to naturally caffeinate beer with tea. Not my proudest of moments holding up the line of people behind me trying to get beers while having the poor brewer explain to me three times how they brew it. I still do not understand the process but I do remember really liking it. While I was still trying to throw the Mate Veza down my guilt someone handed me a Two Rivers Granny Apple Cider it tasted like champagne. At this time my pal Mr. Brown Bottle* made the astute observation that “we should probably get something to eat if we are going to survive this”. Watching the worst cover band in the world almost ruined the glorious sausage dog I tried so desperately to enjoy. That broad took shreky to a whole new level, gives me chills just thinking about it. About the time we wondered back to the beer garden area the owner of Rubicon Brewery who also organized the event approached us to ask what we thought of the event and if there was anything we'd like to see improved upon. That kind of approachability really made us all want come back. Around 8:45 less than two hours into our extravaganza a lot of the breweries started to run out of beer. This limited us to some of the more major breweries and to tell the truth I had tried so many beer it all really started to taste the same. I did continue to drink beers but nothing stood out I had North Coast Scrimshaw, the Grandteton Double IPA it had a citrus flavor, at the Fox Cider table they gave me something from behind the counter that my notes call it “kinda amazing” (not sure why), Auburn Ale called Gold Digger the over hoppiness reminded me of Sierra Nevada. I aspired to finish my Gold Digger while watching some drunk girls stumble into people shouting “bitches be crazy!!!” Sensing it might be time to go I made the appropriate decision to have two more samples Iron spring double IPA and Mad River Red Ale. The only notable thing about the double IPA was the pregnant girl they had pouring beer and all my notes say about the Red is “taste like beer”. We all agreed it had come time to call our cab. The only thing I'd like to see changed is better music. Come on if you are going to play covers get a DJ at least they'll play good versions of crappy over played songs. As the event grows in popularity Im sure they will attack more and more breweries therein adding to the diversity of the suds selection.



*Some names have been changed

Anthony

Ps I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Peru April 2010; I almost died

I knew I wanted to write about this trip but considering I have the attention span of a three year old and Im constantly driven by paranoid fact that there may be something better around the corner I knew I wouldn't have a hole lot of time to document the trip. And I couldn't ignore the fact that I was meeting my younger brother down there who is effected by the same plague of being a perpetual malcontent with where he is. Not only that but we feed off each other so it become an unspoken competition to see who can be more extreme. So to offset this I decided it would be fun and funny to write a journal of my excursion to South America as if I were posting on facebook. I kept notes in my phone and tried to keep as close to my first reaction to things as I could so I would achieve a honest interpretation of the events. Here's how it went.



I have a life long battle with watching the sun rise. Every time I see
it it makes me sick to my stomach

I'm reading a book, watching three rows away with no volume as a very
small Sherlock homes solves a unlikely mystery. Think I'm showing signs
of ADD...can't stop thinking "wonder what would happen if I opened the
emergency exit next to me

Reading about jay leno. The only thing I hate more than sitting in
Houston right now is jay leno. I need a drink

Quickly coming to the realization I'm the only person that doesn't
speak Spanish on this plane

The minutely updated miles traveled screen 10 inch from my face makes
my ass hurt more everytime it updates...yeah 1300 miles down 1835 to go(punches self in face)

Listening to 2 loud post hippy now yuppie Americans talk about being
loud post hippy now yuppie Americans in the immigration line. I hate
people from my country

Jumped in a car with my brother and a couple he just met 4 hours ago
now I'm gripping my seat with the strenght of 10 men while we zip
around Lima looking for chicken

It took me 20 mins of watching discovery kids channel to figure out it
was recorded in English and dubbed in Spanish

Driving around Lima is interesting lots of very poorly maintained old
Spanish style buildings, trashed 60s version of art deco houses mixed
with very well maintained Spanish style buildings and lots of extremely
modern buildings

My brother and mine new Peruvian friends assure me we are going to the
Restaurant of the best chef in Peru for ceveche

This is the best chevece I've ever had. He has restaurants all over the
world apparently he is there version of Bobby flay

Threw a thin haze of pisco sour I think I understand more Spanish than
I do

There doesn't seem to be any rules for driving here. We randomly stop
and go almost running over pedestrians. I'm scared

The presidents palace in Lima is bitchin lots of army guys with big
guns and an armered truck with huge water cannons on top

The people we are staying with must be rich they have, what I'm pretty
sure is, an indentured servant living in a closet in the back of the
house

The guy that said he would drive us to the airport just pulled up in
front of a store got out and another guy got in now he is speaking in
Spanish to my brother. My brother doesn't seem very comfortable

This is the scariest car ride I have ever been in he uses a horn
instead of turn signals we have caused at least 3 accidents. It's a
real life mr toads wild ride

Got off the plane in Arequipa it is hot and poor. Very poor

Angry mob holding a bunch of Che Guevara flags and a guy shouting into
a loud speaker....I'm gunna go take a picture

Some local guy on the street just asked us if were French cause of our
mustaches

We get stared at a lot here.

The town square in Arequipa is awesome looks like the pics of south
America citys, stone everthing, lots of taxis, people wondering around
trying to sell tourist crap, street food etc

Sitting at a "disco" bar with my brother, the bartender, and a bouncer
that wearing a trench coat at least he keeps staring at me like he
wants to kill me. Rad she just put ice in my gin and tonic

Watching a women in the open air market swat flies away from a freshly
butchered calf head pushing the luck of my stomach drinking a fruit,
raw egg and beer smoothie

Saw somemore old churches in a plaza today. You can only see so much
of this stuff before you just don't care

A note for any Americans that want to travel don't wear northface
anything and don't have a camera around you neck you will get robbed
oh and just look don't goock you look like fools

Planes trains and automobiles 12 hour bus ride to cusco meet up with a
friend from home then 3 hour bus to another town then 2 hour train to
machu picchu

I hate south america stomache hurts so bad bus so cold can't sleep 6
in the morning been up 24 hours no sleep in sight

1 hour nap, shower, and a mouth full of coca leaves I feel amazing I'm
going to go fight a llama

Cusco is cold and poor very poor but at least they have more tourist!

Hanging out with a really cool English speaking couple he's Colombian
they met when his family moved to Columbia Tennessee

It's okay I just shit my brains out after everytime I eat

And it started raining and raining and raining.....there houses are
mostly made of mud

Skipping machi picchu to ride dirtbikes to some other ruins. This is
the most excited I've been all trip

You know what's worse than spending all night with dyharia and
throwing up in the sink next to you? Spending all night with dyharia
and throwing up in the sink then having to clean puke out of your
mustache

My brother went to the pharmacy told them I had a fever and was
throwing up and asked for petobismal they said no and gave him
antibiotics for $6! Now that's socialized medicine

Spent all day in bed and the bathroom

Did three haircuts today on a roof over looking a very large hill of
homes and a giant jesus statue behind me. Never would have guessed Id
do that in my life

Peru is a very conflicted place. I'm drinking fruit infused rum in a
hooka lounge listen to a live band play catchuan jazz

A local just explained to me why they hire 25 Peruvians to tear up 100
yards of side walk with picks and hammers. When I asked if it would be
more cost effective and quicker to hire 5 guys with jack hammers he
looked at me like I just punched a baby

I can stand here perfectly still and be as respectful as possible or
run around the streets naked screaming "I am the devil" either way I'm
still loco gringo

Walking by a place that used to be a pagan Inca sacrificial grounds
that the Spaniards stole all the gold from and built a church on. The
Spaniards aren't very well liked here

The lady at the airport asked if we were Italian because of our
mustaches. It's nice not being recognized as American

1 taxi ride, 5 planes, one car ride 32 hour travel time and 40 hours awake I finally made it home

How can I sum up a trip like this. It was the hardest trip I have ever done. There were several time I had to just shut up and hope my younger brother, how lives down there, didn't kill us. I would however do it all over exactly the same even knowing the outcome it all had. As I travel more I find myself slowly coming to the realization the good ole US of A is not an entirely terrible place to live. I still do hate Americans as a group; we are loud obnoxious arrogant people the whole heartedly believe we have life figured out, but America is not a bad place to be.

Anthony

Ps I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Virginia is racist

Shine up you muskets and put on your favorite hating minorities shirt Virginia Governor Bob McDonnells has re-instituted April as Confederate History Month something the two previous Democrat governors wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole because of the obvious implications of racism. McDonnells claims he signed the proclamation back into effect; apparently it’s been quietly ignored by Virginia since 2001, for the money, “the move was designed to promote tourism in the state”. Sure the money will be pouring in from tourist flocking to “The Commonwealth” for Klan marches, Nazi skinhead rallies, and cross burnings. Not to mention white sheet, tar, and feather sales will skyrocket! Anonymous supporters of the proclamation stated, Im sure threw a pointy white hood, “This is something we have brought up to the past few governors but were turned down. We just had to bide our time, the south will rise again.” "We cannot avoid our past," the governor said in a separate statement. This is true we do need to know our past to learn and grow from it, which is why both sides of the civil war are taught nationwide from grade school on up. The Republican Governor made a weak attempt to justify this overtly prejudice action by saying, “it was intended to honor the Confederate sacrifice”. However good ole boy Bob is overlooking the fact that the only thing the confederacy means to a lot of people is hate. Don’t get me wrong Im down with the rednecks, most of the kids I went to high school with had Cowboy Up and Ducks Unlimited stickers on their lifted piece of crap American made trucks but the confederacy is synonymous with the confederate flag and the flag is synonymous with racial prejudice. McDonnell dug himself an even deeper hole of desperate justification by saying "there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved slavery. It involved other issues". Really other issues, so it was an issue of lifestyle differences between the north and the south? The south wanted to be able to keep the lifestyle choice of owning another human? Or was it an issue of money? The south did want to have to pay their laborers? Normally we give a month of recognition to things we want to honor; black history, breast cancer awareness, women’s history etc. Slavery is not exactly a shining moment for us. It is really one of the biggest black marks on our history. The confederacy is a very sensitive subject filled with lots of hate and we should not be honoring it with a month of remembrance. This is a huge step backwards for the 160 year battle of civil rights.

Anthony

Ps. I know I can’t spell or punctuate correctly

Anderson Valley Brewing Summer Solstice Review

Having been born and raised in Chico California Sierra Nevada Brewery and brews have a special place in my heart. I love the over hoppy big strong flavors of their stupendous beers. Some people don’t like the fragrant boutique and bitter spicy flavors but to me it is home. I have a certain fondness for the pale ale; it was my first taste of microbrew, setting me on the path out of darkness that is major breweries and into the blissful world of home and microbreweries. Last summer a wise and insightful friend of mine introduced me to a small brewery, located in the northern coastal range of California, Anderson Valley Brewing Company aka The Legendary Boonville Beer. I have tried most of their beers and I think they are quality crafted beverages but one of their suds rise’s to the top, Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema. As I pop open my 4th bottle in about 45 minutes I have to consider that the SSCC maybe the best beer ever brewed. Seriously, I would do bad things unforgivable things to get my shaky hands on another 6 pack of this stuff. The refreshing malty flavor of this beer makes it undeniable delicious. SSCC has a perfectly balanced sweet after taste that compliments the essential beer flavor and keeps you chugging one after another. It is not a “flavored” beer like some other major brewers, cough Anheuser Busch cough, that taste like shaved ice flavoring mixed with beer. On a side note AVB offers a few of their delectable beers, including SSCC, in a can. These cans have a special lining inside so you don’t get that silver bullet piss and aluminum taste as well as a special carrier that keeps crap off the top of the beers and is harder for animals to get their heads stuck in. Back to the point, I would murder puppies for a 22 ouncer of this stuff. The velvet creamy taste makes you ignore the borderline racist reason AVB named this drink of the gods Cerveza Crema; “this beer has become a favorite among many of our Hispanic friends, so it’s named in their honor”. I have to point out that this is a light summertime seasonal ale and some may call me a beer namby-pamby because I am not raving about an over hopped barely drinkable full-bodied beer. I only have this to say to those people; when it s good it’s good so suck it! A home brewer friend of mine pointed out that the trend in breweries to try and make the hoppiest bitter fierce beer they can is the equivalent of a chef seeing how much salt he can put in a soup before people will stop eating it. I applaud AVB for proving to us in the beer snob world; it is possible to make a light summertime ale tasty and full flavored. Needless to say you need to try this beer. Request the local store where you get your fire water carry Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema and all the other fine ales by The Legendary Boonville Brewery.

Anthony
Ps I know I can’t spell or punctuate correctly

A person must have a certain amount of intelligent ignorance to get anywhere

“He that is faithful in little is faithful much”- The Bible, trust me I read it once. Right now our government is asking us to be faithful and trust them in big things, socialized healthcare, the economic recovery, foreign affairs (war), global warming, and much more that affects our daily lives. How can THE MAN expect us to trust them on the major issues when small discussions like this are taking place? Last week in discussion with Admiral Robert Willard, head of the Navy’s Pacific Fleet, on too much military presence in Guam, a US territory, congressmen Hank Johnson said and this is a direct quote “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize”. Uh yes congressman because the functionality of a 212 square mile island in the Pacific Ocean is very similar to the functionality of two fat drunk men trying to balance on a single inner tube. A much more stable man than I, Willard managed to hold back from bursting into laughter and give a simple response, “We do not anticipate that”. A spokesman for Johnson has said that the Georgia congressman meant it to be figuratively. You can tell he meant it figuratively by the way he doesn’t mention the word figuratively, doesn’t laugh, doesn’t smile and actually looks quite serious. It has also been mentioned that good ole Henry has Hepatitis C and that may be hindering his mental capability. (I almost dropped my box of wine I’ve been drinking I laughed so hard typing that sentence) It’s actually an unusually smart choice Harry did not to go with the Hep C defense because not only would he be admitting he is board line retarded and completely incompetent Im pretty sure Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson used that defense up in the late 90’s. The whole debacle furthers the point that any boob can run for office and the American people will willingly vote said ignoramus into power. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some sort of IQ test you had to take before you could run, nothing to hard you know maybe some questions on basic geography? Think of the numskull leaders we could have avoided! I don’t know it makes me want to put a 5 dollar bill in my pocket and drink the kool aid because we are all doomed

Link to the video of our great think tank below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNZczIgVXjg&feature=player_embedded#

Anthony
Ps I know I can’t spell or punctuate correctly

She & Him Volume 2 Cd Review

In mid 2008 I happened to be lucky enough to catch a four sentence blurb in Rolling Stone about Zooey Deschanel and M. Wards new band She & Him. Ive always liked Zooey's(She) voice, she sings in every single movie she has ever been in, and M. Wards(Him) guitar driven raspy voiced indie tunes have always been at the top on my play list. I decided to pick up there first album Volume One: I fell in love. I recently scored a copy of there second release Volume Two. Contrary to Volume One's peppy almost overly enthusiastic love songs Volume Two is mostly comprised of angry, bordering on spit-full, break up songs. The display of emotion on this album allows much more connection between the band and the audience. Starting the album off is a throw back country music Raul Malo-ish song titled Thieves; which is about how someone stole her and her lovers love. You can really feel a lot of pain behind such songs as the simply comprised Gunna Get Along Without You Now and the sixty's doo woop styled Ridin' in My Car. However, they cover the sad-bastard lyrics with cute quirky happiness by using cheery melodies and Zooey's charming phrasing. Although I do really like Zooey's easy smooth vocals she seems to use less of the vibrato in her voice which what I fell in love with. I know Deschanel doesn't have a very powerful voice but the background vocals over power her quite a bit and she is flat on several of the songs. Zooey and Ward maintain some of the catchy Patsy Cline meets Aretha Franklin with a piano vibe from Volume One with the tracks Over It Over Again and Home. The delightful use of ukulele, slack key guitar and reverb on the guitar solos allowed the duo to turn over a new leaf portraying much more of a sleepy 1950's Hawaiian feel. Almost giving the album Wanda Jackson combined with The Beach Boys quality. The musical ability of Ward paired with the song writing skill of Deschanel has brought us another solid, fun, and chic album. Volume Two also delivers something that has been missing from mainstream music for a long time; BELIEVABILITY. Hopefully we will be getting more heartfelt music from She & Him very soon.

Anthony
Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Twilight Saga, I don't get it.

This idiotic series first came across my radar a couple years ago when a nerdy family member, who will go nameless because I believe she will read this and cut me in my sleep, was going on and on about how good the book series is, how real it feels and how much she loved Edward. My first thought was "Real? Didn't you just say the main charters are vampires and werewolves?" Like a retarded broken record she kept saying "no it's really a good love story". I eventually gave up the argument, chalking it up to her being a weirdo fantasy freak. After this very frustrating discussion I was blessed enough to completely forget about what I have recently been told is, THE SAGA. (We are ignoring the fact that the only saga is and will forever be Star Wars) One unsuspecting day I met a certain thirty-four year old punk rock drummer who to my shock and dismay actually read the series, left it out on his living room coffee table, and TRIED TO GET ME TO READ IT!! Since I happened to be raised in an overly macho family my first thought was, "Does your wife know you like dudes?" His argument, "No man it's really a good love story". Let me just say this, Im a big ole romantic comedy gay. Seriously anyone that knows me knows some of my favorite movies are romantic or romantic comedies. I can't help it, Im a sucker for it. So I read the back of a couple of the books and a few pages in each. From what I gathered from my read is; yes you could call it a romantic story but more accurately it's an overly dramatic high school puppy love story written by a women told through the eyes of a women. The story plays on the fears and hopes of the inner fifteen year old of every women and effeminate dude in my friend’s case. I applaud Stephanie Meyer(author of the book series) for this, it's very cleaver, not cleaver in a well written interesting love story kinda clever more of make a shit ton of money by playing on insecurities given to a gender by a overly critical society kinda clever. The story plays on a few basic human emotions but has no further depths. The characters and plot offer nothing that couldn't be found in your average episode of Boy Meets World or Wonder Years. (Don't judge I've been on a Savage family kick) Look at the main plot points (we are ignoring the supernatural aspect, supposedly this is about the story) and tell me Im wrong: 1st falling deeply madly uncontrollably in love with some older guy, you can't pretend majority of High School girls don't dream of this 2nd having two, count them two, hunky guys fighting over your love therein creating a freaky puppet master narcissistic love triangle 3rd someone (rival vampire) and something (society) trying to tear your love apart. After Meyers tugs on the readers heart strings a little, gets you by the emotional balls, the rest is filler. Less than half way through you aren't reading because it's good you are reading to make sure that the things you want to happen actually happen. You (the reader) have already made up your mind what is going to happen. It's not if the pasty white melodramatic two timing whore goes with team Edward or team Jacob. It's not if the anticlimactic teen gets her wish of being turned into a vampire and spending the rest of her life making shiny shiny love to her brooding wild eyed man candy. Or if the two sworn enemies become BFF's skipping threw the pacific northwestern forest sparkly cold hand in furry paw. At that point the story has to have the fairytale ending otherwise all the overly-theatrical people that get sucked into the books vortex of lameness would riot in the streets, kicking in plate glass windows screaming "AAAAHHHHH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO END UP WITH EDWARD!!!!" If the reader can figure out what is going to happen next and each step for the rest of the approximately 2400 page series that is not good writing or a good story. I get why it would appeal to some people, mostly people that are emotionally damaged and should at least be on antidepressants, but to the general public this should be regarded as the sham it really is!!! The fact that this series is one of the best selling of our time boggles my mind. How could rational forward thinking people think such obviously terrible writing, which is being masqueraded as a love story, be any good at all? The movies are even worse and yes I have been bamboozled into seeing both that are out. The plots are boiled down even further; getting rid of everything that could have possible made the books remotely interesting. The acting is desperate to say the least. They are two movies made up entirely of brooding looks. Not even good brooding, porn-ish faux shyness with deadness behind the eyes that can only be attained with certain levels of shame and self loathing. The first movie, Twilight, I spent the entire movie waiting for a crappy 70's funk song to break out and all the main charters to start making out. The director tried to walk a line that one "family" of vampires are a primal tribe and normal people that exist in the "mortal" realm. It did not work because these are two elements that are to contradictory. No one at the school of the main character, Edward, attended noticed he stopped an out of control car with his bare hands? Really?? And as for New Moon I literally laughed out loud at what they called acting, this could have been caused by the coffee mug of whiskey I had for breakfast that day but none the less I have seen better acting on Days Of Our Lives. The kid that plays Jacob is pretty much a young tan shirtless Steven Seagal. The CGI of him turning into a werewolf is as advanced as the 1989 Disney comedy Honey I Shrunk the Kids. The love triangle between the main characters Bella, Edward, and Jacob emerges in the second movie; I could help like I had seen this already on The N's Degrassi. This is one of those things that will be on "I Love the 20-Teens" and you will all feel stupid for liking it. The entire series is laughable. But as one of my friends pointed out Twilight does do something good, it makes Lost Boys not the gayest vampire movie ever.

Anthony
Ps I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

An interview I did for Submerge Magazine

Words by Anthony Giannotti
Brian Hanover is most well known for his years fronting the Sacramento-based street punk band Hanover Saints. After seven U.S. tours, two full-length records, four EPs and nearly 10 years playing together, Hanover Saints called it quits in 2005. Fast forward to 2010, Brian is about to release his second solo album, publish a book of his writings, continue running his own screen printing business and still finds time for his family. Brian’s mindset fully embodies the DIY lifestyle, going as far as to release his solo albums on his own record label Revolution Ink Records, casually saying “I work hard, it’s just what I do; I don’t know anything else”. This impressive work ethic has served him well in nearly two decades of playing music; Brian slyly smirks while saying “I’ll always play music because my mind won’t let me stop writing songs!” His easy going demeanor and friendly attitude makes it hard to not to like him. The story, depth, and honesty of his songs allow him to win over audiences with just an acoustic guitar and harmonica. Brian likes to involve the fans at his live performances by leaving a tambourine out for people to play. He laughs as he says, “You just hope whoever grabs it at least has a little rhythm.” He also does something a lot of older musician don’t do, “I want to stay relevant, I don’t want to be the crusty old guy that doesn’t know what the kids are listening to.” I had a chance to catch up with the 35-year-old punk rocker over a few pints of Guinness at one of my favorite Sacramento dive bars, The Press Club.

Thanks for meeting up with me here; I know you’re a busy guy
No problem, thank you. I’ve only been here a couple times. One of the first times I came to The Press Club was in the early ‘90s to see US Bombs, it was a crazy night I was over there behind Townhouse smoking and some kid got stabbed at the show!

So you’ve been around the Sacramento punk scene a longtime.
In 1984 I was skating a launch ramp with some friends, and someone down the street was blaring 7 Seconds Walk Together Rock Together. Later that day I made my mom drive me to the record store, back then there was Dimple, Record Factory and of course Tower. I got my first punk records that day, 7 Seconds’ The Crew, and Black Flag’s Damaged. I started going to local shows in the mid-‘80s. I even met my wife at a Suicidal Tendencies show back when Big Shots was still open.

SM: Yeah congratulations on the 10-year wedding anniversary, you just got back from a little trip?
BH: Thanks it’s been a good 10 years. We went up to wine country for the weekend

What’s it like trying to balance your own business, wife, kid and being a recording/tour musician?
[Laughs] There really is no balance; I think it’s priorities for sure. My wife knew what she was getting into, this is just what I do, and I was already in a band when we got together. One thing that really strengthens us as a couple is being able to do our own thing, it allows us to grow together, really surrounds us with love and grace, [laughs] a lot of grace.

Speaking of doing your own thing, I took a listen to the new release it’s very good, quite the departure from the Hanover Saints…
Yeah some of it is. For this album I wanted to strip most of the songs down so I really only used an acoustic guitar, tambourine, harmonica and on a few songs electric guitar. All accept the fourth track; it actually was a Hanover Saints song that never made it on an album. It was right toward the end of it, I had already been writing solo stuff, and I brought it to practice when we were playing as a three-piece with Chris from Killing the Dream on bass.

Some of the songs on here have a real Johnny Cash/Bob Dylan singer songwriter vibe jumping off them.
Each song is a little bit different from the other, they may have a common thread but I tried to get a large variety. Everything I sing about is all true stories, all personal experiences, kind of a Pete Seeger thing. I wanted to do this release differently because of all the different formats everything is coming out in. So the way I’m doing this release is in three volumes, every four months four more songs come out. The next volume is going to come out with a book I wrote and a coffee mug, because it all started with coffee and late night rants for me.

How did the book come about?
Like I said I was always at coffee shops writing. Some of the Hanover Saints lyrics I always really liked as standalone pieces. I had been cleaning out some old papers and I found old poetry, short stories and some other stuff I thought I’d like to publish it, I don’t know if it’s any good. Sometimes writers can think a little too much of themselves, think there a little bigger than life, but I went to a book store and picked up a book of poetry and one of the stanzas I turned to was literally 4 sentences. I thought, I can totally do this. It’s ridiculous.

Do you think it was the writing that attracted you to more of the acoustic style over staying in the punk rock genre?
Most of the Hanover Saints was written on acoustic or electric. It just depended on how I heard it in my head. One day I was playing the song “Bad Man” at home, Mike Ericson happened to be doing some work for me and heard it. He talked me into putting that song on Hanover Saints record Murdertown, which Pressure Point was producing. By the end of Hanover Saints I felt I had said everything that avenue would allow me to say. I really wanted to get that one on one connection with the audience. I definitely think there is a place for the loud thing. I’m always going to be into punk, and I’ll probably play it again, it’s just if you’ve said what you need to say for that part of your life I don’t feel the need to keep dragging that dead horse around.

Have you found that one on one connection?
I wanted to try getting up and doing a solo show but I was too afraid. Then in 2005 Kevin Seconds talked me in to being on a bill with him. I just fell in love with it. Being able to play coffee shops, small bars, garages, living rooms and really some sketchy places is an entirely different, incredible, personal experience for me. You can get to know the people and the city you are playing in instead of rushing through to the next gig like when you’re in a full band. I’ve made some great friends all over the country playing solo.

Anthony
Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Shoki Ramen House

I recently had my first experience at Shoki Ramen House in Curtis park. We are not talking about no 10 pack of ramen from Costco. This is hand made, fresh, and good enough to punch your own mother to get another bowl. I know this place has been reviewed several times but it is to distinct not to throw my two cents in. As I looked over the menu I couldn't help noticing how awesomely Japanese the entire place is. From the staff shouting "Irasshaimase!" when we entered to fact there was only about ten two-seater tables in the entire place, the place screams Japanese perfection in the small details. I really dug the soup-nazi vibe of the place, it's our way or the highway. Here are a few things you need to know when eating at Shoki: CASH ONLY, no hot soup to go(it ruins the noodles), vegetarian broth ONLY on request, last lunch order at 1:50, dinner at 8:50 exactly and there words not mine "Shoki will not be held responsible for errors". If you've never had ramen like this before it's all about the broth, at least according to me. They offer several different kinds of broth Shoyu Ramen (soy sauce-based), Shio Ramen (sea-salt based), Soy Milk Ramen (soy-sauce with soy milk) and my favorite Tan Tan Men (spice soy-sauce). All of the soups come in three sizes small, regular, large. Since I have a love affair with foods so spicy it will literally burn your face off I went with the Tan Tan Men. You can get your Tan Tan Men four levels of spiciness; mild, regular, extra spicy, and super spicy. I got extra spicy because, well I'll be honest, I pussed out at the last second. I vow to not disappoint you again dear reader. I also ordered an Asahi Dark beer, which is imported from Japan unlike the Asahi Dry(in the bottle) crap that is brewed by Miller brewing somewhere in the US. I read on the back of the menu that all of their of the ingredients in the soup are either imported directly from Japan or bought from local farms. This is a good sign. I also read that the broth is simmered fresh everyday for six hours. This could be a good sign. The only worry being that since it is a shoyu(soy-sauce) based broth they could simmer to much water out and raise the salt content to high. As I looked around at an entire restaurant of people quietly slurping soup I highly doubted they would make such a mistake. When I finally got my soup(actual wait time about 12 minutes)the ramen was topped with a three or four ounces of ground beef, spinach, bamboo shoots, and a good helping of chili sauce. The moment of truth, my first bite. I couldn't believe it I almost kicked over the table next to me it was so good. The broth; a perfect balance of shoyu, beef flavor, garlic, ginger and chili sauces while still maintaining a remarkable freshness. The noddles contained a certain quality all in to themselves, they were not over cooked, not dried, and they were crisp with an organic taste to them. I'll call them perfection in cooked dough form. I did not like the ground beef. I know it's local beef and all but it was so lean it tasted woody. But I can not recommend this place enough I truly cannot say enough good things. The bill for two bowls of Ramen and two beers was twenty-four bucks and some change, which this day in age is pretty reasonable. The staff while very rushed due to the high turn over of tables was still fairly friendly. I can tell you expect a wait, apparently they are crazy busy all the time. Seriously, go it is well worth the wait.

Anthony
Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Me vs. My lawn, it will not beat me!!!

Growing up here in the United States everyone has heard of "The American Dream". You know what I am talking about good job, house, nice car, and 2.784529 children. While those things are nice the leave it to beaver life isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Here is a story of how at times owning your own home can suck. This particular tale starts on my couch. My only ambition of this doomed day, stay on the couch. I laid quite comfortably on my couch(I love this couch so much because it folds out into a bed meaning; I don't have to get up off of it for days at a time) watching reruns of Keeping Up With the Kardashian's, don't judge me, when my crazy wife flung the curtains open. I believe she said something to the effect of "get off the couch you lazy jerk" this was over shadowed by me screaming "AAAHHH THE SUN IS EVIL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" It took me a few moments of holding a pillow over my face to come to grips with the sun not going away. As I peered out into the mid-morning I came to the annoying realization, our yard had become that yard on the block. Awesome, so I guess the lawn isn't going to cut itself like I had been hoping. My hesitation to mow the lawn doesn't lie in a loathing of the actual act of cutting the lawn, I do enjoy it, but in the lawn mower itself. I hate it, I can not even describe my hatred for this particular piece of equipment. It is the bane of my lawn maintenance existence. Some how between each usage something new breaks on this POS. I get it working, mow the lawn, turn it off, and by the next time I need to use it something new is wrong. I have kicked and hit it with so many things by the laws of physics this devil machine should not work. But since this Snapper lawnmower was crafted by Satan himself sometime in the 60's it is built like a tank. I ponder over these facts of my life as I get dressed and finish my coffee. I expect the worse. I calmly cracked the door to the garage open, sun glances off the top of the faded red engine, I mumbled "One off us will win you piece of crap". I checked the gas tank, full enough. Like an old west showdown the moment of truth, I give the pull start a nice hard pull. My nemesis sputters a little, this is a good sign it means Im winning. I pumped the primmer three times, one more solid pull and oh yes sweet victory is mine Lucifer roared to life. I kinda strutted out to the lawn, maybe today won't be as terrible as I assumed. My front lawn is roughly fifteen feet by thirty five feet with a sidewalk running through the lower portion. I'd cut approximately ten square feet when the old snapper decided it was going to be a bitch. It just died. I thought out out loud, "maybe the bag is full". Oh what a silly fool I am. I emptied the bag started right up again, RAD, I took three steps and the beast died. We played this game three or four more times. I got a screw driver to adjust the carburetor, I know if I loose my temper the machine has won. We did the start up and die dance about twenty more times before all hell broke loose. I went retard strong picking up the mower and throwing it to another part of the lawn. Like a crazy person off my meds I kicked and cursed it (thankfully I had on my steel toed boots) until I realized people were watching. With the heat and furry of ten angry sun gods I stormed up to the house grabbed the keys and shouted "IM GOING TO HOME DEPOT, YOU COMING!!!". My wife having seen similar rage many times before calmly shrugged and said, "sure". With the lawnmower upside down in a half cut white trash lawn we set off for Home Depot. I strongly dislike Home Depot. My Dad is super Mr. Fix-it himself guy so as a kid we would spend HOURS in Home Base(different store same evil) while he figured out whatever part was the cheapest to fix whatever was wrong. There is only two good things about spending hours at hardware stores; the obligatory hot dog stand in front and playing dice in the parking lot with the day laborers. I came screeching into the parking lot like a bat outta hell. Im expecting the worse. The trip inside was far less scaring than previous visits. $220 later I had myself a brand new lawnmower. I grabbed a polish dog on my way out and put on a little Merle Haggard working man blues for the drive back home. I my delicious meaty treat seemed to help with the rage but I kept being plagued by the vision of an IKEA-ish experience of assembling my new toy. You know, it's so simple that it is the most complicated process in the world. When I got home I realized all I need to do was tighter four quick release bolts, add oil and gas. I peed a little I was so excited. I got it all put together. Now the moment of truth...I am plesed to say she fired on the fisrt try. It only took me twenty minutes to finish mowing the lawn and get back to my glorious couch. Im proud to say I own of my first brand new lawn mower. Im in the process of sending the old one back to whatever hell it came from.

Anthony
Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and The Whigs at Harlows 2/26

Last night at Harlows Nightclub marked the first date for BRMC on there tour to support the up coming album "Beat the Devils Tattoo". I have never been a super huge fan but a few of my beer loving friends decided to go so what the hell I'll go just to check out the scene. I also figured seeing BRMC at a 200-300 club like Harlows could be really cool. I usually enjoy seeing bigger bands in smaller venues, get up close and personal with them. Rub elbows with the life I never quite made it into. As we rolled up to the front door a 35 person line stood in our way. Not a good sign. While we waited in the freezing cold I looked around at my fellow concert goers...more skinny jean wearing, trendy beard sportin hipsters than you could shake a stick at. Not a good sign. When I finally made it threw the door I realized why it took so long; the show had been close to double oversold. Not a good sign. I hate it when clubs or promoters over sell shows by that much, it's dangerous. Anyway I had to bump and grind my way to bar it was stacked about four people deep. The only way I even got a drink was because a friend of mine was working, sweet I grabbed two drinks cause I wasn't about to wait in line again. I turned in circles to find a place to stand but it was so over crowded I could barley move, then some kind sir aloud me to cozy up to the corner of his reserved table pretty close to the stage. About this time Georgia's finest three piece garage rock band The Whigs hit the stage. I couldn't help be a little disappointed that there wasn't a local band on the bill, it's always good to see local guys getting a shot at a big time show. But The Whigs were pretty cool. They had sort of a grunge/southern rock sound to them, as if Kurt Cobain tried to sing like Waylon Jennings. The southern rockers brought some good hooks and riffy songs, but I do think they over used The Pixies style song writing. A lot of there songs used palm muted power chords to get that throatie chugin guitar sound then when they went into the chores an open chord to get a much larger wall of sound. On A few songs the vocals followed the scale the guitar and bass played which is bitchin. It's extremely hard to write songs in that style, that don't just sound like some sort of middle eastern hack job. IE White Stripes song Conquest. By the time The Whigs left the stage I was convinced to buy an album, good stuff. So of course BRMC takes forever to get to the stage. Nothing I like more than sitting in a hot, humid, over sold show with no drink in my hand. I don't understand why you don't add another band to the bill if you are going take your sweet ass time getting to the stage. At Least give us something to watch. Needless to say I was not in a good mood. Like I stated in the beginning of this piece Im not a huge BRMC fan but I DID like them. When the rock stars finally sauntered on stage they came out with a powerful, ambient song? The rest of the set continued to underwhelm. I never noticed how many effects are on the singers voice, live he sounds like an unoriginal version of Billy Corgan. I guess musically speaking they played well, no missed chord changes or off beat train wreck moments but my god I have not been that bored at a show in months. BRMC player mostly their mid-tempo songs, you can only listen to a band rip off Smashing Pumpins (without the good guitar player) for some many songs. Not only that but I think they said as many as two sentences to the audience the entire show. Both the guitar player and the bass player changed instruments between almost every song, Ive done entire tours without turning that much! The drummer played some pretty good drop beats but the bass player played root notes the entire night...BORING. The guitar player used a Capo to play lead parts, how does that?! Most guitar players consider this cheating. When the night came to a close I swore I'd never see BRMC again. They did not come close to living up to quality of there albums and to boot they bored me out of my mind. I do have to give props to The Whigs, good stuff I recommend it. As over sold as the show was the Harlows staff did a great job, from sound to bar, grade A.

Anthony
ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Mustache March!!!

Mustaches have been a controversial part of history, they have been banned by kings, forbidden by employers and used as a form of protest. The popularity of mustaches has had its peeks and valleys but today we find ourselves at the lowest of the lows. Somewhere in time mustaches have fallen from the grace in our society. It has become an eyesore, an embarrassment and most disturbingly a joke. In the past a mustache was a symbol of being a man. It showed the world yes I have reached male adulthood and I am proud of it. We need to bring this back! This is why I bring you the Mustache March competition. Restore mustaches to there former glory days. This is not just a contest but a grass roots cultural movement. A revolution if you will. The Mustache March competition is the beginning of this revolution. So let the hair on your upper lip grow for the the month of March and VIVA LA MUSTACHE!! If the simple satisfaction of bring back the mustache isn't enough for you I am offering some intensives through my barbershop, Anthony's Barbershop. Here are the rules:

1. CLEAN SHAVED AS OF MARCH 1st

2. NO CONNECTING BEARDS AFTER MARCH 15th

3. COME IN TO MY SHOP BY 4PM APRIL 10th TO HAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN TO ENTER THE CONTEST. NO LATER!!!!!!!

Anthony's Barberhshop is located at 2408 21st street in downtown Sacramento. Hours are Tuesday-Friday 9-6 Saturday 10-4. You have to come in to get your picture taken so I can post it up on myspace and on facebook. Votes from myspace and facebook will be combined. The TOP 3 VOTED mustaches get a FREE HAIRCUT, STRAIGHT RAZOR SHAVE, and T-SHIRT. So tell your friends to vote for you!!!! The more creative and extreme the better chance you have of winning. Check out the pictures of two of the winners from last year!

Ladies we need your support. Kiss a man with a mustache

Have fun and TELL YOUR FRIENDS

Anthony
ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Because George Clooney is better than me

George Clooney bought his girlfriend a Mansion on island in a lake. The "Up In The Air" mega star already owns a home on the shores of said lake, but apparently that is not good enough she had to have the island mansion too. Side point it happens to be Lake Como in Italy the same lake the french charter from Oceans 12 supposedly lived at. I think he did it just to out do me, I bought my wife flowers this week. Everything that guy does have to make me look like an ass. DAMN YOU GEORGE CLOONEY!!! Oh well I still love him.

Anthony
Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

A show review I did for Submerge Magazine

7Seconds, Youth Brigade, Pressure Point, Boats!, The Knockoffs
Shire Road Club, Friday Jan. 29
Words Anthony Giannotti

When I heard about this show I was really excited for several reasons: First, I hadn’t seen some of the bands in almost 10 years; second, it showcased a wide cross-section of Sacramento punk rock talent; and third, it gave me a reason to get out of the grid and check out a new all age’s venue. So I made the trip all the way out to The Shire Road Club.
First up were The Knockoffs. The band consists of guys from other great Sacramento punk bands The Secretions and The No-Goodniks and Berkeley, Calif.’s Mr. T Experience. Right out of the gate these hometown heroes hit us with three-chord punk that would do The Ramones proud—songs chock-full of sing-alongs, power hooks and quirky choruses about girls. I found the drummer of this band to be very interesting; in fact I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Imagine if The Rock stopped taking steroids AND played with the exact facial expression/drumming style of Ringo Starr circa 1964.
Next up was the pop punk trio Boats! The set started out with some equipment malfunction that caused the guitar player to miss some notes and forget chord changes. Anyone that has played in a touring band understands every show can’t be the best one you’ve ever played; you just move on and play better next time. These guys did have some catchy tunes. Similar to something you might here on a late 90’s Screeching Weasel album, fun goofy three chord punk. The bass player David blew me away, honestly one of the best young punk bass players I’ve seen in a long time.
The third band, and arguably the best band on the bill, was Pressure Point. I really don’t know what else to say about these guys, they are just fantastic New York style hardcore punk. Apparently I was not the only person who felt this way because the previously motionless, expressionless crowd burst into a wild circle pit, fist-flying singing along to all the songs. These guys brought a little more musical complexity to the night, more than five chords per song and some flashy lead guitar. Pressure Point brought out an interesting observation; punks, skinheads and hardcore kids attended this show. Not a lot of other cities can boast such unity.
As soon as Youth Brigade hit the stage I was immediately unimpressed. Yeah I know, punk legends, been around forever, whatever. For some reason Shawn Stern (lead singer) had a problem with the majority of the audience not being born before his band started. He seemed to imply that we weren’t there so we don’t “get it”. This is the equivalent of Boss Hogg telling me I don’t “get” Dukes of Hazard because I wasn’t born in the south. I don’t see this in any other genre of music but for some reason some old punk rockers are ageists. Sorry for being younger than you. I don’t know what you want me to do about it. If you’ve seen the classic punk documentary Another Sate of Mind you’ve seen modern day Youth Brigade. They still play teeth grinding aggressive 80’s style barking hardcore punk. Shawn is still singing about politics and playing the same power chords, I didn’t get the impression that he wanted to be there. He acted as if he was going through the motions, to get paid.
7Seconds was the last band to take the stage, they immediately kicked down the doors and tore the roof off. They played fast, loud, and hard. I was surprised Bobby didn’t break a string the way he slammed on that guitar. Steve Youth played about as complicated of a bass line as you can fit into a blazing fast punk song. I loved Kevin’s vocals, that distinct higher range is one of the things that has made 7 Seconds so recognizable over there career. What an extraordinary band, they are celebrating there 30th anniversary so get out and see them!!!
All said and done it was a good night with very talented bands. It was a good reminder of what I love about punk rock. I hope Shire Road Club has more of these shows in store for us.

Anthony
ps I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly

Gentlemen......please

Fashions and styles seem to come and go in the night. I think they call them trends. We've all gotten caught in something that was trendy for the moment, don't pretend you didn't have MC Hammer pants and LA Lights. Im not usually one to be into or even notice such trends until well I'll be honest they are not cool anymore. However awhile ago I started to notice a new trend for guys. Well not really new kind of a reappearance of a trend: Men are interested in being men. As revolutionary as this doesn't sound, men have always been been men in a psychical sense, what Im taking about is men wanting to be gentlemen. I first saw this movement shortly after the AMC series Mad Men came out. Guys started coming in my shop asking for haircuts like Don Draper and wanting to try out straight razor shaves. Since I work in, I guess, what is considered a gentleman's trade I noticed a lot of questions about what kind of whiskey should you drink, what kind of suits to wear, where to get shoes shined or a shirt tailored. All things that seem to have died with previous more "manly" generations. I also noticed a lot of the ad's in Maxim, GQ, Esquire, and even Sports Illustrated were playing into this. The ad's where featuring guys with more of a dapper look, slicked back hair, nice suit or sports coat. Alcohol company's took advantage of this right away; Dos Equis with their "most interesting man in the world" campaign, Jim Beam has their "Guys never change" slogan, even P Diddy jumped on the bandwagon teaming up with Ciroc to create a "High-class Premium" vodka. As I noticed these things all culminating together I can't help but make one very significant observation. They want to be this high class mans man but on more than one occasion I had guys tell me appalling stories; cheating, stealing from family members, bailing on child support, and the list goes on. I actually had a guy tell me about how he got his girlfriend and one of her friends (the girlfriend didn't know about here friend) pregnant, broke it off with both of them, he would have any contact with them until the maternity results came back. They were both his. Then Mr. Charming asked me where he could get a good cigar. It amazes me how these guys are missing the point of being a "gentlemen". Being a gentlemen or a man isn't what you drink and wear it's DOING THE RIGHT THING BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT. It's taking care of your responsibility's in life, trying your hardest, being able to admit when you're wrong or need help. I don't want to say a state of mind, cause that is stupid but being a gentlemen is an attitude it can't be bought or faked. Learning to be a gentlemen from the one dimensional personalities on television/advertising these guys are confusing being cultured/sophisticated with actually being a gentlemen. It's the gentlemanly attitude then the style comes in time. Seems to me they want the symptoms of being a gentlemen not the cause. Buying Michael Jordan's jersey doesn't mean you play ball like a super star. You should be setting your aspirations after a person because of what that person does or the way they act not because of what there appearance is. I guess that is what is wrong with our society, all about the sizzle not the steak.

Anthony
Ps. I know I can not spell or punctuate correctly

Portland Trip Feb 2010

Just got back from a weekend trip to Portland with the wife. I haven't been up that way in several years. It is a town of cooks, you see them everywhere usually smoking behind a restaurant. My goodness did we eat a lot of really good food. Different dishes from all over the world, really great stuff; Italian, Vietnamese, ridiculously fresh seafood, french, and good ole American steak just to mention a few. I had a bowl of Pho from a little trailer in a parking lot. Unbelievable good, the flavors in the broth mixed perfectly the cuts of meat weren't over cooked or to fatty. That area just has such good fresh ingredients and like a I said a ton of cooks that know exactly what to do with them. Portland has the most micro-brewery's in the United States. I don't know how everyone there isn't a alcoholic they have AMAZING beer. My favorite brewery had to be Rogue, there Barley wine and Stout were so good I wanted to punch people. The water and the cascade hops up there provide for a perfectly balanced drink. Not only that but a bunch of great local winery's and distillery's. I tried to sample as much as I could, it was to much for one man to handle. I also enjoyed how weird Portland is. Like I said it's a town of cooks and cooks are weird but this goes beyond that. It's been a refuge for weirdos and degenerates for years. Just walking down the street you see it, literally tshirts, stickers, patches and sides of building all with the same slogan "Keep Portland Weird". Fun weird though not scary. At no point did I feel like I was going to be stabbed to death like I have in parts of LA and New York. I had a nice conversation with a man that had blue hair, blue beard, blue clothes and blue tattoos all over him. He seemed to think he was a Druid (Best known for soldiers of Merlin's Army that supposedly battled King Arthur). People just seemed to be in there own world of quirkiness. I dug it. The city of Portland is very beautiful, it has a nice 1920's feel to a lot of the architecture. The entire downtown area is going through a kind of rebuilding, taking the old abandoned brick warehouses and turning them into trendy work/live lofts. I really enjoyed the very nicely maintained city parks and thousands of huge tree in the area. We did a tour of the Japanese Gardens a short cab ride from downtown. I have to say that was one of the highlights of the trip the way everything was perfectly manicured and all the stones laid out in a certain order. It is the only fully authentic Japanese gardens in the US. I have a nothing but respect and admiration for the Japanese people and culture. As beautiful as the city itself was the people are a different story. I don't know if it's the superficial Californian coming out in me or what but those people up there are unattractive to say the least. My wife and I are okay looking people, not the best or the worst, but I noticed we were consistently the best looking people in the room. Lots of white people with what I call "mountain features". You know round faces, not fat but a little meat on them, and Im pretty sure everyone had freckles with dark hair. We joked as we got on the plane that we should have got Northface jackets as souvenirs because that is what EVERYONE wore. We both agree we can't wait to get back to Portland it is a great city!

Anthony
Ps. I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly.