Peru April 2010; I almost died

I knew I wanted to write about this trip but considering I have the attention span of a three year old and Im constantly driven by paranoid fact that there may be something better around the corner I knew I wouldn't have a hole lot of time to document the trip. And I couldn't ignore the fact that I was meeting my younger brother down there who is effected by the same plague of being a perpetual malcontent with where he is. Not only that but we feed off each other so it become an unspoken competition to see who can be more extreme. So to offset this I decided it would be fun and funny to write a journal of my excursion to South America as if I were posting on facebook. I kept notes in my phone and tried to keep as close to my first reaction to things as I could so I would achieve a honest interpretation of the events. Here's how it went.



I have a life long battle with watching the sun rise. Every time I see
it it makes me sick to my stomach

I'm reading a book, watching three rows away with no volume as a very
small Sherlock homes solves a unlikely mystery. Think I'm showing signs
of ADD...can't stop thinking "wonder what would happen if I opened the
emergency exit next to me

Reading about jay leno. The only thing I hate more than sitting in
Houston right now is jay leno. I need a drink

Quickly coming to the realization I'm the only person that doesn't
speak Spanish on this plane

The minutely updated miles traveled screen 10 inch from my face makes
my ass hurt more everytime it updates...yeah 1300 miles down 1835 to go(punches self in face)

Listening to 2 loud post hippy now yuppie Americans talk about being
loud post hippy now yuppie Americans in the immigration line. I hate
people from my country

Jumped in a car with my brother and a couple he just met 4 hours ago
now I'm gripping my seat with the strenght of 10 men while we zip
around Lima looking for chicken

It took me 20 mins of watching discovery kids channel to figure out it
was recorded in English and dubbed in Spanish

Driving around Lima is interesting lots of very poorly maintained old
Spanish style buildings, trashed 60s version of art deco houses mixed
with very well maintained Spanish style buildings and lots of extremely
modern buildings

My brother and mine new Peruvian friends assure me we are going to the
Restaurant of the best chef in Peru for ceveche

This is the best chevece I've ever had. He has restaurants all over the
world apparently he is there version of Bobby flay

Threw a thin haze of pisco sour I think I understand more Spanish than
I do

There doesn't seem to be any rules for driving here. We randomly stop
and go almost running over pedestrians. I'm scared

The presidents palace in Lima is bitchin lots of army guys with big
guns and an armered truck with huge water cannons on top

The people we are staying with must be rich they have, what I'm pretty
sure is, an indentured servant living in a closet in the back of the
house

The guy that said he would drive us to the airport just pulled up in
front of a store got out and another guy got in now he is speaking in
Spanish to my brother. My brother doesn't seem very comfortable

This is the scariest car ride I have ever been in he uses a horn
instead of turn signals we have caused at least 3 accidents. It's a
real life mr toads wild ride

Got off the plane in Arequipa it is hot and poor. Very poor

Angry mob holding a bunch of Che Guevara flags and a guy shouting into
a loud speaker....I'm gunna go take a picture

Some local guy on the street just asked us if were French cause of our
mustaches

We get stared at a lot here.

The town square in Arequipa is awesome looks like the pics of south
America citys, stone everthing, lots of taxis, people wondering around
trying to sell tourist crap, street food etc

Sitting at a "disco" bar with my brother, the bartender, and a bouncer
that wearing a trench coat at least he keeps staring at me like he
wants to kill me. Rad she just put ice in my gin and tonic

Watching a women in the open air market swat flies away from a freshly
butchered calf head pushing the luck of my stomach drinking a fruit,
raw egg and beer smoothie

Saw somemore old churches in a plaza today. You can only see so much
of this stuff before you just don't care

A note for any Americans that want to travel don't wear northface
anything and don't have a camera around you neck you will get robbed
oh and just look don't goock you look like fools

Planes trains and automobiles 12 hour bus ride to cusco meet up with a
friend from home then 3 hour bus to another town then 2 hour train to
machu picchu

I hate south america stomache hurts so bad bus so cold can't sleep 6
in the morning been up 24 hours no sleep in sight

1 hour nap, shower, and a mouth full of coca leaves I feel amazing I'm
going to go fight a llama

Cusco is cold and poor very poor but at least they have more tourist!

Hanging out with a really cool English speaking couple he's Colombian
they met when his family moved to Columbia Tennessee

It's okay I just shit my brains out after everytime I eat

And it started raining and raining and raining.....there houses are
mostly made of mud

Skipping machi picchu to ride dirtbikes to some other ruins. This is
the most excited I've been all trip

You know what's worse than spending all night with dyharia and
throwing up in the sink next to you? Spending all night with dyharia
and throwing up in the sink then having to clean puke out of your
mustache

My brother went to the pharmacy told them I had a fever and was
throwing up and asked for petobismal they said no and gave him
antibiotics for $6! Now that's socialized medicine

Spent all day in bed and the bathroom

Did three haircuts today on a roof over looking a very large hill of
homes and a giant jesus statue behind me. Never would have guessed Id
do that in my life

Peru is a very conflicted place. I'm drinking fruit infused rum in a
hooka lounge listen to a live band play catchuan jazz

A local just explained to me why they hire 25 Peruvians to tear up 100
yards of side walk with picks and hammers. When I asked if it would be
more cost effective and quicker to hire 5 guys with jack hammers he
looked at me like I just punched a baby

I can stand here perfectly still and be as respectful as possible or
run around the streets naked screaming "I am the devil" either way I'm
still loco gringo

Walking by a place that used to be a pagan Inca sacrificial grounds
that the Spaniards stole all the gold from and built a church on. The
Spaniards aren't very well liked here

The lady at the airport asked if we were Italian because of our
mustaches. It's nice not being recognized as American

1 taxi ride, 5 planes, one car ride 32 hour travel time and 40 hours awake I finally made it home

How can I sum up a trip like this. It was the hardest trip I have ever done. There were several time I had to just shut up and hope my younger brother, how lives down there, didn't kill us. I would however do it all over exactly the same even knowing the outcome it all had. As I travel more I find myself slowly coming to the realization the good ole US of A is not an entirely terrible place to live. I still do hate Americans as a group; we are loud obnoxious arrogant people the whole heartedly believe we have life figured out, but America is not a bad place to be.

Anthony

Ps I know I can't spell or punctuate correctly